I Just Watched (Films)

[eny]

We were involved in the film set of Sleepy Hollow at the time—they borrowed our bale trailers to use as mobile lighting rigs, and the set they built in the woods was phenomenal. The estate tried desperately to keep the church they built and use it as a shooting lodge, but the council wouldn't allow it. It really was like going back in time. We had free use of the catering bus there too.

[Drarok]

Bonus points for Leslie Nielsen playing a serious role but still somehow managed to be hilarious.

He was always a serious-role guy up until Airplane (1980, I checked), so that makes sense. I don't think I've ever seen Poseidon though!

[Lenny Solidus]

Rob Zombies Halloween II

Yes I was actually a fan of Rob's first movie reboot one of the rare few if you will, when everyone else was pretty much defecating all over it as such a huge fan of Carpenter's own works I rather unexpectedly really enjoyed it. Naturally, I was really looking forward to his follow-up which came about some two years later.

But slap me with a hot tire iron, everything went wrong with this outing. And to get straight to the point man the level of gore, so gratuitous and so full on I ended up having to take in just audio only, listening to nothing but pure squelching and screaming noises for many of the death scenes. I do not at all mind a little smack of violence in a slasher flick but come the fuck on now - there has to be a limit when it comes down to showcasing outright brutality in a movie. I''m still kind of amazed I made it all the way through even now. Personally, I don't see Michael Myers as that form of killer, this is the same man who stuck someone to a fridge with a kitchen knife then silently stood looking on. There is not and never was any need to resort to this kind of level of violence with this particular character and it ruined most of the movie quite frankly.

2/10

Blonde

There's something to be said when you stop watching a movie thirty minutes in that is featuring one of your favourite actresses because you feel kind of disgusted for her being a part of it. Just an absolute grim, miserable viewing experience, and that's based only on how little I saw.

1/10

[Achtung Englander]

Blonde

There's something to be said when you stop watching a movie thirty minutes in that is featuring one of your favourite actresses because you feel kind of disgusted for her being a part of it. Just an absolute grim, miserable viewing experience, and that's based only on how little I saw.

1/10

Yeah I do not think anyone here has made it passed 1 hour. A complete travesty of a film.

[Animalmother]

I think it's been universally slated for being an unpleasant experience.

[Solitaire]

The Poseidon Adventure 1972
Back in the 80's if you turned on the tv on a weekend afternoon either Zulu, The Great Escape or this was almost guaranteed to be on somewhere. I've probably seen it several times in the past but remember barely anything about the film. It's your typical 1970's disaster flick about a cruise ship that gets hit by a tsunami and is left upsidedown. A few people try to escape and unintentionally hilarious deaths occur along the way. Lots of angry acting with Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine yelling at each other. It's pretty good fun and worth a watch. Bonus points for Leslie Nielsen playing a serious role but still somehow managed to be hilarious.

Wow, used to watch this with my dad every time it came on tv, back in the 80s. And you're right about Leslie Nielsen - I can't watch him in anything without thinking he's being ironically hilarious, like he's the straight man in every scene, waiting for the punchline I came across an episode of "Columbo" a couple months ago, and Nielsen was playing a hitman. I just couldn't stop laughing even though there was nothing funny happening, haha

[Animalmother]

We were involved in the film set of Sleepy Hollow at the time—they borrowed our bale trailers to use as mobile lighting rigs, and the set they built in the woods was phenomenal. The estate tried desperately to keep the church they built and use it as a shooting lodge, but the council wouldn't allow it. It really was like going back in time. We had free use of the catering bus there too.

Was the whole village a set? Some if the building looked pretty genuine.

I have a vague memory of watching Poseidon as a kid with my parents. My dad worked on a ship all his life so it was a bit destressing with all the dead guys in the engine room scattered about. My mother wasn't impressed when a dead guy floated by and my dad goes "That's me..."

I was also laughing at Gene Hackman sometimes as it reminded me of his part in Young Frankenstein as the blind hermit.

Fucking classic

[Alan]

Orphan First Kill
It could have been much worse. Nowhere near as good as the original and I couldn't help but imagine Fuhrman hobbling about on her knees in every conversation trying to act seriously but its not bad its just ridiculous. I wouldn't pay money to see it but you could do worse.

Blonde
How would you like some torture with your softcore porn? What a pile of bullshit. I don't see why they couldn't have made it a more balanced telling. Yes she had deep lows in her life but this movie forgets she had massive highs too but it would prefer just plowing the fields of (often fictional) misery. Her death was actually comical in its achingly bad melodrama.


Enough of this, Hellraiser just dropped! I shall return disappointed forthwith!

[eny]

The whole village, the road, the stream, the bridge, the church with the graveyard on the hill, all in a nook in the woods that is surprisingly close to the main road. You could see the lighting from Henley when it was on. It was an incredible set.

[Achtung Englander]

Suspiria (1977)

Pretty decent horror film. The colour palatte is pretty strong with everything bathed in reds, greens and yellows. I liked the story and the dubbing is great in a bad sort of way.
6/10

[Achtung Englander]

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Silly fun, some good jokes. Stopped half way, could not be bothered to see the second half
5/10

[Achtung Englander]

The Small World of Sammy Lee

What a terrific film. Filmed 50 years before Uncut Gems, it is the story of a Soho striptease frontman who owes £300 (£5K today) to a bookdealer and must pay up before his time runs out. Filmed in 1963 it feels incredibly fresh even by today's standards. Really good acting, direction and cinematography. Its great to see 60s Soho. I loved it. The Blu Ray copy was amazingly sharp.

7/10

[Animalmother]

Hellraiser 2022
That terrible late 90's horror movie making style is a live and well in this waste of time and effort, all it was missing was a Nu Metal song in the end credits. Avoid if your a fan of the original or entertainment in general.

[Snowy]

Hellraiser (2022)

Utterly fucking awful, yet another remake that didn't need making. They get everything in it wrong tbh. The characters are forgettable and loathesome and you want them dead from the moment they arrive onscreen. The puzzle box is now just a nasty little trap that sticks a knife into whoever successfully solves it, oh but it now changes shape every time it is solved because ancient reasons blah blah.

They have changed the Cenobites too - Pinhead is now female and exudes as much menace as a Labrador puppy.

I could discuss the film in more detail but it would mean that I had wasted more of my life on it than I have already, so not gonna bother.

No tears please, it's a waste of good suffering/10

[Alan]

Bullet Train
Eh... its ok. Its that hyper clean, over polished, slow mo everything, twists every second Guy Ritchie style rubbish. Theres a few chuckles and some neat scenes but its very much not the style of thing that I enjoy. If youre into that kind of thing you'll probably like it.

Hellraisher
In the pantheon of 11 Hellraisers its probably top 5 all things considered though in ones Id rewatch its probably much lower. Its well made, the story kind of makes some semblance of sense even if it is poorly written. It has some excellent practical stuff and most of the cg is fine. The changing configurations of the box was an ok take on things I suppose but the fact it can be used against cenobites and accepts them as sacrifices for leveling it up is really dumb as fuck. The characters are shite but they always are in Hellraisers! As for the new pinhead, shes fine. Doug Bradley was inspired casting and taking over from him was always going to be a step down but Pinhead was always described as more feminine and the pearls on her nails echo the bejeweled ones in the source. Out of the 4 Pinhead actors shes the second best but the guy in Judgement was actually not bad too. The worst thing about it is what a waste it is. Theres so much put into this that had the writing been good and well thought out it absolutely could have been great. Reminds me a lot of the Candyman reboot actually, many of the same problems.

Heres the thing, if youre going to reboot why not fucking reboot it! Call it Hellraiser: The Hellbound Heart and and follow the bloody story! At least that way we could then get an adaption of The Scarlet Gospel and its utterly ridiculous yet badass finale! This actually feels like a reboot of Hellbound more than anything.

I wanted better but I expected worse.