I Just Watched (Films)

[Hatredsheart]

The next one should be 'Profits Have Fallen'.

[Achtung Englander]

Rocketman

That was great. I enjoyed that a lot more than Bohemian Rhapsody. More of a musical than a traditional biopic.

8/10

Edit - The Mrs and I were talking about Rocketman v Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. It is fascinating to find a film that had almost nothing to say but to say it well, with a lot of fun and sympathy against a film that had a lot to say and could have been fascinating but to say it with pretentiousness and borderline tedium.

[Alan]

Right
*cracks fingers*

"It" double bill.
Part 1
Still sucks. A collection of great scenes held together by nothing. Its rushed, it doesnt earn any scares or any feels. The entire film is Hi I'm a kid OHSHITACLOWNx7 then We all seen a killer clown? LETS GO KILL THE CLOWN. The end. Theres no real character building or arc it just goes from 0-100. Also Pennywise redesign is dumb. He becomes a clown to entice kids to him, he does not become an evil clown as his main form for every encounter because Richie has a fear of clowns.

Part 2
Kind of more of the same but with old actors. They all go out, have an experience then rush into the final fight. I really wanted them to do Bev and her husband well but they did it in the lamest way possible, a bit like how they made the rock fight in part 1 utter pants. Id say it was really dissapointing but after really not liking part 1 I'm not sure what I was expecting. It ends in a fairly lame way but then the book may have a shall we say divisive ending (running joke throughout)
Theres also flashbacks to their younger self and I'm 99% sure the kids are CG or at least deaged which looks so off it almost looks dubbed.

"It" needs a TV series at some point. Let the characters breathe, grow and earn their destiny. 10-12episodes doing the concurrent timeline since thats not been done yet. It could be real good.



Crawl
Theres a bad storm, theres gators in the house and shes trapped. Its pretty standard, the main girl has bionic limbs which are impervious to gator bites while everyone around her is maimed and killed. I wouldnt bother.



Scary Stories To See In The Dark
Most definitely the best flick of the week. Its mostly cliched to hell and back but it has that Del Toro charm

[Achtung Englander]

I am so jealous of you Alan, you have
a) the time
b) a membership card that you are completely hammering

Although you are seeing a lot of shit that I would not even bother my time with

[Animalmother]

Atomic Blonde

An MI6 agent gets sent to Berlin days before the Wall comes down to investigate stuff and reasons. Truth be told by the midpoint of the film I'd forgotten what it was about. By no means a bad film just a bit forgettable.

Fight scenes are fucking brutal and Charlize Theron gets the bejesus kicked out of her multiple times. The action is sparse but very well done with great 80's tunes playing. Charlize Theron is also stunningly hot in this, in reality she'd be a shit spy as everyone would be looking at her.

[Alan]

Hustlers
I grunt when I have to get up off the couch and Jen Lopez is spinning round a stripper pole like it aint no thing at 50! The film is pretty standard and concludes in a bit of a wet squib but it wasnt bad. Its an apparently true story about some pole dancers that turned to ripping guys off after the financial crash drys up strip clubs. Had a few chuckles. Cardi B and Lizzi have bit parts and for some reason (or no reason) Usher turns up at some point for 30 seconds to throw some cash around to prove how relevant he is in 2019 I guess......

[Achtung Englander]

The Sister Brothers

It was alright 6/10

[Achtung Englander]

Ad Astra

er....er....er......er.....er.....er....um.....er....5/10

2001 A Space Odyssey it is not. To be frank - it was unbelievable.

[Stormbringer]

Care to elaborate?

[Alan]

Ready Or Not
Terrible name, fantastic film! Lass marries into a wealthy family that following tradition play hide and seek with murderous consequences! Its real funny, its real bloody, it's mostly all practical effects and the ending is just perfect! How many times can you say the ending of any film, much less a horror type, is great? Samara Weaving is really excellent in the main role. If you have love for anything from Evil Dead 2 to Get Out I really recommend this. Bloody great fun! One of if not my favorite film of the year!




The Kitchen
Some mobsters get locked up and their wives decide to try and get their own piece of the pie. Its very good till the halfway point then it goes downhill to a just terrible ending. Tiffany Haddish is decent, Melissa McCarthy is pretty good, Elisabeth Moss is fun and the main reason I wanted to see it. To watch if its on telly sure but dont go out of your way to watch it.



Downton Abbey
One of the most benign films Ive ever watched. Nothing happens and when something happens its executed in a way that nothing happens. There is an assassination sub plot that is handled as if it was a plot to make tea for the target. Oh and the staff do things that would get them locked up at the very least but again nothing happens!

Nothings happening, nothing happening, nothings happening, something about a map, nothings happening, nothings happening. Its over, a lot of people look pissed.

[Sly Boots]

Ready or Not sounds right up our alley, will give that a watch at some point I'm sure.

[Animalmother]

Rambo Last Blood

I'm going to be honest, that was pretty disappointing. Rambo now has an adopted daughter, domestic waffle, teenage stuff, blah. Mexico happens and it gets uncomfortably dark and bleak. Claw hammer and knife justice. Montage sequence followed by brutal fucking violence for the last 15 minutes or so. John Rambo off the fucking chain violence.

It wasn't a bad film just an unnecessary one. I think he tried to mesh the first film with the last one and it didn't work so well. Worth a look if your a fan.

[Achtung Englander]

Care to elaborate?

Ad Astra is not boring but its nonsensicale (to me). The plot is a mcguffin and some decision are made that are just odd like

Spoiler

hard stopping and restarting a spaceship on the way to Mars = what . Pirates on the moon. Smuggling an extra body on a spaceship to Neptune - really - what about the extra air / food etc

Its worth seeing on telly. Neptune looked nice though.

She summed it up pretty well

[Tichinde]

Spiderman - Far from Home
Meh.
There's a 30 minute episode of really good stuff wrapped in an hour and a quarter of some of the most boring cinema in the entire MCU.

[Snowy]

[Downton Abbey
One of the most benign films Ive ever watched. Nothing happens and when something happens its executed in a way that nothing happens. There is an assassination sub plot that is handled as if it was a plot to make tea for the target. Oh and the staff do things that would get them locked up at the very least but again nothing happens!

Nothings happening, nothing happening, nothings happening, something about a map, nothings happening, nothings happening. Its over, a lot of people look pissed.

I took my dad to see this. Since we lost mum earlier in the year, I have been trying to make sure he can still do all the things he enjoyed before she got ill. I have never seen a single episode of the TV show and was hoping that it wouldn't require extensive knowledge of the 'story so far'. It didn't although I am sure it would been more enjoyable if you had. It was very odd - everything was so bloody genteel, even the assassination plotline. It was one of the most British things I have ever watched.

Inoffensive but over-long. 5/10, maybe more if you have an investment from watching the TV series.