Apprentice 2022

[Raid]

I suppose they had to be realistic and ignore most of the proof of concept games because, if the editing is to be believed, they were created in one day using existing assets.

The environmental game concept was just an absolute train wreck. Karen got it right immediately; most people want escapism when they play a game, or at the very least something distracting enough from reality to take their minds off the thing this game was shoving in a player's face. Everything the team said about that concept felt like it was straight out of Captain Planet. I think the team captain said that Super Mario was one of the world's biggest franchises, so she thought she'd design a game to match. Unfortunately she used the concept of a game from before she was born as the template. The best thing about the game is that the person operating the computer when they were designing the logo sat there and said nothing when they misspelled the title, and that absolutely sank their pitch from the off, and it was glorious.

Both teams seemingly had people who claimed to be regular gamers, so I'm not really sure why they weren't speaking up.

[Achtung Englander]

I saw the last bits of that episode on iPlayer. To be fair to both teams they had 1 day to make it (or was it 2?). Then when they sat with idiot Sugar they got lambested that modern games are huge enterprises with massive worlds. How the fuck did you expect these bunch of losers to produce a game in one day, even with off the shelf assets, let alone rival a AAA game. So stupid. I read that something like 20% of games on Steam have sales below 100 units. So producing shite games is nothing special.

This follow up article in GI is interesting, Ian Livingstone has the most worthwhile advice. https://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/ ... apprentice

[Sly Boots]

In fairness, what lost the task was the preachy message and being unable to spell their own brand-name, rather than the quality of the product

[Raid]

Ahh, the tour episode, the one that year on year makes me cringe more than any other. It's no different this year. Why would you let someone with zero public-speaking charisma lead the train tour? Why would you lead a historical tour with so little time to learn the facts? They always just come across as entirely unprepared, and it feels like the task is designed to show them up at every opportunity. I know gawping at underqualified idiots who think they're overqualified is part of the show, but it's one of the most transparent attempts to force that.

Spoiler

I couldn't stand Amy, and so very glad that I don't have to listen to her again. She once again immediately got out of doing the PM role. Her fake enthusiasm really grated. She lead the cheese tasting course like it was a corporate planning meeting. Her style was just completely alien for this task, and while you can't blame someone for their accent, I could absolutely see it being off-putting to the customers.

[Sly Boots]

Just caught up with the latest episode, as soon as I heard what the task was, this flashed through my mind:

Spoiler

I wasn't far off in the end

[Raid]

I would have posted that same gif if I'd remembered to make a post about it last week. I had to go away and think about just how badly both teams did, then forgot.

A karaoke machine? A sodding karaoke machine? What the hell were they thinking? How could they possibly think that was going to appeal to a room full of varied companies? Do the journeys made in these pod things even last long enough to finish a song? Why would you sing in such a tiny enclosed space? Was a mini fridge discussed at one point? Why would you think a 4 person hen-party-mobile would appeal to a major airport? Like, I could understand if these things could be quoted as options, but the format of the task didn't seem to allow that.

I just can't fathom why you'd try to over-brand a vehicle positioned for mass market corporate adoption. They should have just painted them a neutral colour, given them a tasteful interior and called it a day. But then I suppose His Alaness would rip them to shreds for not having a brand identity.

[Sly Boots]

Was quite quickly apparent there'd only be one winner this week (despite one of the team's complete misunderstanding over what VR is ).

One of the teams was familiarly inept, we've seen plenty of attmepts just like theirs down the years, but the winners were surprisingly good, stemming no doubt from the PM's clear vision, communication and firm hand. We've seen often enough in the past that those that try to cheap out inevitably fall on their faces, but even so it was quite brave to set out to do provide the most expensive experience and hope that customer satisfaction would win out.

The VR thing aside they delivered what they promised and it sounds like the corporate clients had plenty of good things to say about them.

TBH though I thought Sugar should have fired the losing PM, who never had control of things, though few tears will be shed for the firee as they'd done nothing of note throughout the series.

[Snowy]

I am watching these unwillingly as my wife likes the show. Still grimace whenever any of them talks about being 'project manager' but I suspect I always will.

My overriding sense of this year's crop is that I wouldn't trust any of them to clean my shitter, let along be trusted with any money.

[Raid]

I did cringe a little at the thought of going to Silverstone circuit, a venue that offers track day experiences around one of the world's most famous racing circuits (which were clearly available because the other team used them), and playing with a Scalextric set.

Yeah, the winner was painfully obvious this week. The losing team just didn't seem to want to work for it, to the point of appearing lazy. Getting the VR thing wrong was daft, but it was pretty funny when one of the team told the PM not to bother with it right from the start.

[Sly Boots]

I did cringe a little at the thought of going to Silverstone circuit, a venue that offers track day experiences around one of the world's most famous racing circuits (which were clearly available because the other team used them), and playing with a Scalextric set.

That was the same team!

[Raid]

I did cringe a little at the thought of going to Silverstone circuit, a venue that offers track day experiences around one of the world's most famous racing circuits (which were clearly available because the other team used them), and playing with a Scalextric set.

That was the same team!

Oh. Is it worth mentioning that I've not had a lot of sleep lately?

[Sly Boots]

I did cringe a little at the thought of going to Silverstone circuit, a venue that offers track day experiences around one of the world's most famous racing circuits (which were clearly available because the other team used them), and playing with a Scalextric set.

That was the same team!

Oh. Is it worth mentioning that I've not had a lot of sleep lately?

I'll let you off seeing as the other team hosted an event at Silverstone then instead of any track time gave their guests the chance to ride the type of machine you'd find at most arcades

[Sly Boots]

Classic episode.

Is that outcome a first for the show? I'm not sure I can recall that happening before, but deserved as that was an utterly inept showing from everyone except one. It was a toss-up from the second team who would go, unsure whether the right decision was made but I guess he went for someone more assertive even if in this instance they were probably most culpable for the epic failure.

[Hatredsheart]

Spoiler

So, how many orders can I put you down for?

[Sly Boots]

Haha, that was probably the quote of the episode

Honestly, she's probably the only credible one in the entire process, and even not then massively so. I agree it's been a weak year for proper candidates, but there's been a fair amount of comedy value.