I Just Watched (Films)

[Rusty]

Guy Ritchie's Operation Fortune: Ruse De Guerre

It's on Amazon Prime so thought I'd give it a watch. It's very watchable and all the main characters are having a good time but yet the story didn't seem to matter.
They're hoping it'll lead to be a franchise... I can tell.

Would watch again

[Animalmother]

Prisoners
I really liked Denis Villeneuve's BR 2049 and Dune but I'd never thought to look at this for some reason. 2 young girls going missing outside their homes and the police catch a suspect. Hugh Jackman is unnerving as one of the girls dad trying to get answers. It's dank and miserable, either pissing rain or having just snowed, all the colour is washed out. It's pretty disturbing and while not gory the violence is genuinely unpleasant. Great film if a little over long at 2 1/2 hours.

[Can't think of one]

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Rebecca Ferguson. That's it, that's the review.

8 out of 10 Rebecca Ferguson's

[eny]

Guy Ritchie's Operation Fortune: Ruse De Guerre

It's on Amazon Prime so thought I'd give it a watch. It's very watchable and all the main characters are having a good time but yet the story didn't seem to matter.
They're hoping it'll lead to be a franchise... I can tell.

Would watch again

Just watched this myself, I thought the story was very Ritchiesque — enough twists and intrigue to keep it on a rolling boil. Statham has that character down to a tee, not wooden or over the top, just right and meaty. Enjoyed it, and definitely want more. JJ was class, loved that character.

[Alan]

The Little Mermaid
That lass has an incredible voice. It makes it all the more glaring that everyone else does not. It’s not great which strangely has nothing to do with skin colour since she’s the best thing in it. The writings bad, Ursula is bad, the cg is bad and the built for 3d is incredibly distracting (you know that distinct foreground, midground background separation).

It’s not all bad but it’s not good.

[Animalmother]

Does the crab/lobster look like a real crab/lobster?

The Time Machine 2002
The world was my oyster, I could have watched literally anything else but I chose to watch this...for some unknown reason. Completely lacks the charm of the 1960 version. He invents time travel to stop his girlfriend from dying, not because time travel is fucking rad. It's worst crime is it's just dull, a victorian scientist wandering around a 21st century city should be fun, it isn't. I'm also pretty sure James Cameron stole the music from this for Avatar (it's shite music).

[Can't think of one]

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

What a pile of wank! My expectations were very low and still turned out to be crap! I watched a couple of youtube reviews saying that the opening 20 minutes is the best part but in my opinion, it wasn't that good The opening action sequences were so dark I could barely make out what was going on! The film was too long, it was boring, I didn't find any of it funny or charming and it was fucking stupid...

Spoilers for two moments that pissed me off

Spoiler

mads mikkelsen's character's face gets hit by a wooden beam on a fast-moving train near the beginning of the movie...Does he die? Nope, his absolutely fine in the next scene!

The shit round replacement has a fascination with planes....so he knows how to take off and fly a plane with no practice/training etc

Who wrote this shit?


EDIT Also the CGI for the most part is really shit! Have you ever a big-budget movie that has excellent CGI effects but you sometimes spot the odd scene where the effects are not up to standards or has painfully obviously green screen? In this movie is the opposite....Most of the CGI especially in the chase sequences were fucking awful!

[Animalmother]

I believe that CGI is nearly always done by the lowest bidder these days and there is massive time pressure involved. Studios often don't give a fuck if it's up to scratch as long as the film gets released on time.

[Lenny Solidus]

Guy Ritchies The Covenant

I absolutely loved The Man from U.N.C.L.E. *the cool but abrasive chemistry between Cavill and Hammer is undeniable* and yes I will say it I even enjoy King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, I think that movie is a little undervalued and is just an all-round entertaining movie that somehow for me completely works in a Lock Stock mould and I have always been a huge fan of Charlie Hunham since Green Street. Blah blah but I digress.

What The Covenant does and does oh so well though is pretty much strip away almost everything you would so typically expect from a Ritchie movie, the end result turns out a much richer back to basics and surprisingly heart-wrenching effort because of it. There's no reliance on fancy edits, soundtracks or constant super slow motion and when there is anything that comes close it feels entirely warranted at the time though is still played down so much that the movie doesn't enter Michael Bay territory and it still all works wonderfully.

This very much in fact almost feels like what you would class as guerilla filmmaking and one more time I will say it just works - the fact this was a massive flop in theaters still kind of doesn't surprise me all too much but I do think it is perfect home viewing material. If you are at all familiar with real-life events such as the Tongo Tongo ambush and so many more similar stories this movie will bring about a very stark telling of what these kind of soldiers - these kinds of men might have gone through.

Spoiler

The most surprising aspect here being that Jake Gyllenhaal is not really the main focal point - Ahmed is, played magnificently by Dar Salim and he has so many, and I do mean so many scenes that stay with you as he quietly and reservedly keeps your interest firmly intact from the very first moment he is introduced. The story is kept nice and simple and doesn't attempt in any fashion or form to overcomplicate matters and some of the dialogue is just bloody great, it's so very well written for the kind of movie that it is.

One line in particular instantly stayed with me and no doubt will everyone...

There is a hook in me
One that you cannot see
But it is there

To close I have to add that Jake Gyllenhaal is of course fabulous in this too, he might not be the primary focus all of the time in the manner you expect someone as gifted as Jake to be his usual gift of adding gravitas is consistently present still. Just a wonderful no additional thrills-required movie that once gets its wheels turning drags you deep and it's one that you should enter with no expectations to get the most out of.

9 out of 10

[Alan]

Gothic and Lolita Psycho
Very cheap but really fun. Fantastic fight scenes for the budget too.

[Animalmother]

Avatar 2 The Way of Water
Raid did a good write up on this a few pages back and I agree with pretty much everything he said. Why was this made , who other than Cameron cares about this? It looks amazing , whatever ridiculous sum of money it cost to make is all up there on the screen to be seen. It might have been better if there was no talking though, the dialogue is fucking dire in places. Hearing blue teenagers call each other bro and cuz every 10 seconds really starts to grate very quickly. Add to that the dreadlocks and cornrows it looks like an alien Glastonbury festival full of culturally appropriating crusties.

One thing that is great is the human tech. The mechs, subs and aircraft all look really cool and I wish it had more screen time. It's like Cameron took the marine gear from Aliens and evolved it. Its a glimpse at what could have been if JC made great action sci-fi again. Saying that the action itself is good so he hasn't lost that touch.

It's not bad just over long and more than a bit boring. The next one isn't out until maybe 2025 and the follow up 2031...20-fucking-31!! No one cares!!

[eny]

Seven Psychopaths (Prime)

Great watch, don't know why I've not seen it yet, but was brilliant fun!

[Lenny Solidus]

I hate Blumhouse movies. I hate how they so very often tend to come up with very interesting ideas for films but so often completely squander that which should have made the movie, some of them though are actually memorable and an amazing watch start to end.

This brings us to Sweetheart (2019 - RT 93%)

Kiersey Clemons is very good as Jenn, she certainly sells the movie's tension well enough and visually the movie looks great no question. The problem is she's given so very little to work with and the film is at its best when she is merely reacting to happenings around her.

Spoiler

The creature - initially I absolutely loved it, the sounds it made, the heavy thump-like footsteps and the reveal of the 'black hole' completely sold me on something really delivering in the second half. Sadly the more it gets revealed the threat factor just drops off significantly until in the final scenes it really does resemble a tall dude in a suit unable to see shit and looking like something out of the Guyver movies. I actually love the Guyver movie, this obviously wasn't intended to be that. Obviously, the entire inspiration was more akin to Creature from the Black Lagoon and for a mainstay of the movie it works pretty well as Jenn tries to figure out just what the fuck is going on and what is keeping her awake at night.

Once again a Blumhouse movie trips partway and never really recovers even though all the required ingredients of what could have been something almost great are all there, just the execution falters so very heavily and it's a bit of a shame.

6 out of 10

Tomorrow night's viewing is a movie called The Harbinger (2022 - RT 94%) which I have actually heard amazing things about, it's set at the height of the Covid pandemic but I'm reserving all expectations for now.

[Wrathbone]

Croupier

I went into this blind and was surprised but not disappointed. Everything about this screams late 90s Film4 production, almost to a pretentious degree, and Clive Owen puts on his best sulky face while mooding it up with everyone. It could have been completely awful but somehow he makes it work. I've only been to a casino once, on a stag do in Leeds, and Croupier nails the atmosphere of the real thing - no glitz, no glamour, just an air of mild depression, like a working men's club with far more money being wasted.

A weird, grim film that is strangely fun to watch. A real character piece.

8/10

[Animalmother]

I remember watching Sweetheart a few years ago. It was pretty good until near the end if I remember rightly.

The Blackening
The trope of the black character always dies first in a horror movie except here every character is black. A group go to a remote cabin for a college reunion only to discover an extremely racist board game and are forced to play. It is very funny in places and a bit strained in others, the scene where they have to pick the blackest of the group and start giving reasons why they're not very black is hilarious. It's up and down after that and could have been about 10 minutes shorter. Worth a look anyway.