I Just Watched (Films)

[Wrathbone]

True Romance

1993 classic, directed by Tony Scott, written by Quentin Tarantino. It's such a beautiful film; one of my absolute favourites. Everything about it is so good.

Funnily enough, I watched it for the first time a couple of months ago. Thoroughly enjoyed it, just a damn good film all round.

[Stormbringer]

I watched it many years ago; not sure when...but 20+ years for certain. It was a real treat to watch it again last night and find it still holds up beautifully.

[Lenny Solidus]

The Crow (2024)

Every once in a while a movie comes along that you love so dearly you find a way to directly incorporate it into your life by whatever form that might be and sometimes even for extremely near fate lead reasonings. For me the original Crow not only became a film I treasured surrounding everything from the story the look the soundtrack the action the characters acting messaging that all so completely captured my imagination. It goes without saying that it's a very special film to me.

Spoiler

I even at the time had a life-size poster of its star adorning my study wall for years that was a constant talking point leading up to its release. Next came my first sons birth and as a quick recap it went like this...awaiting the birth for over seven hours I was eventually told go home it's not happening today even though I insisted I stay, went home and The Crow just happened to be havings it tv debut that very same evening...halfway through viewing I get the call, get to the Hospital right now. I miss the birthing by mere moments and am obviously rather devastated after insisting so adamantly that I shouldn't leave. Upon eventually returning home once more, I find that the Crow poster that has remained unmoved for years has suddenly folded itself in half while I was away. It is right there and then after countless earlier discussions taking on all that had happened that we choose to name our first son after the late sure to be great Brandon Lee, the signs were all there - plain as day.

The original movie obviously became much beloved cult classic for multiple reasons you already know far too well, as such, to think of even attempting anything in the form of a reimagining or remake was never going to be met with anything but ire and complete and utter scepticism. Nobody wanted this thing made, many looked at it in poor taste to even attempt such a thing (of course given both the true life tragedy that directly inspired its creation and that which occurred during its production) and most made it clear that original The Crow should be allowed to be a - timeless classic...personally I have a bit of soft spot for City of Angels though which went through its own challenges to get made also and Iggy Pop's lurid mouth fingering still haunts my fucking dreams.

So now we have The Crow 2024 starring Bill (suddenly I'm in everything like Pedro Pascal) Skarsgård and yes quite overwhelmingly the calls to please don't attempt to make this no good can come of it cries were all spot on. There are so many misguided downright misaligned creative decisions made concerning this film given the wonderful source material, I don't even know where to begin that make one certain truth known...it doesn't work either in this format or in this modern era setting, at all. Ironically, I was one of the rare few who enjoyed Rupert Sanders Ghost in the Shell movie (for shame I know) but his vision of the Crow is an all filler convoluted disjointed passionless fucking mess that fails to confidently touch or deliver on anything it rightly should have been able to. Bill is portrayed as the weakest form of vengeful ghost I have ever seen in a movie, with more than half of the running time taken up by scenes that offer nothing and are so poorly jarringly handled/edited that you struggle to keep up. It's all over the place, with never enough time to get you invested in anything beyond the can we please please just get to the Crow aspect of the movie already type desperate wanting it holds at bay for far too long. And even when it does decide to entertain the whole Crow aspect, it's presented as little more than weak ass exposition and Bill being pushed into a puddle over and over.

I felt nothing...nothing for Eric and Shelly this time around...the movie serves up bugger all to make you even remotely invested in the two. Bill is just all out miscast, sure yes he has the look once he dons a leather jacket makeup but beyond that he offers us nothing to root for him and his usual competent to great acting ability exits stage left for the majority of the movie. He is in all honesty far better than this, there's nothing given to him to truly take it to anything other than a distinctly frustratingly mediocre level the writing sucks the bad guys suck the action if and when anything happens sucks and there's absolutely no weight given to any of it - it's just slice shoot and continue, the very couple we are intended to root for, they just kind of suck. Somehow they even did the impossible and made Danny Huston a terrible villain, fucking bravo.

In all honesty I couldn't bring myself to even finish watching this nonsense, swiftly reached out to the power down button as it entered its so-called "climax" and went straight to sleep. Nothing of value was lost. Made on a $50 million budget the film made just $24 million WW. 24. Holy shit, that's just enough to cover the catering service.

Let that be a stern warning for all that some things should just be left well alone.

2 Lame Crows out of 10

It Can't Be Shit All the Time.

[Lenny Solidus]

Also, I promise whatever my next review shall be is a positive one...I don't wish to be the guy who only posts mostly routinely negative reviews.

Just a lot of movies are terrible.

[Animalmother]

Sounds very similar to that fucking rancid Robocop remake from a few years ago. Utterly no understanding of what made the original so iconic.