I Just Watched (Films)

[Wrathbone]

It's not terrible

Oh, it is. It’s truly terrible. Even Ivan the Terrible wasn’t quite as terrible as Resurgence. I’m not convinced there is a single redeeming feature about it.

[Raid]

I don't agree. It's not very interesting and I can't think of any good reason to actually watch it, but it's mostly competent.

[Drarok]

Wait, wasn't Brent Spiner done for in the first one?!

[Wrathbone]

Nope, he was just sleepy, although honestly that’s the least of the film’s problems. I’ve purged much of it from my brain, but I do recall that an inexplicable amount of time is spent following Jeff Goldblum’s dad going round in a school bus collecting children like they’re pokemon.

[Raid]

Yeah, the Goldblum's dad storyline is probably the most pointless part of the film. I liked the character from the first film, but they should have found a better way of integrating him into the plot of the sequel.

Spiner's character was apparently in a coma since the first attack. Y'know the bit in the first where it looks like the captured alien is manipulating his vocal cords and that Spiner's character was definitely dead? Yeah, that's now apparently not what was happening, and instead it was dictating telepathically. It's a shame because the vocal cord thing was a cool horror piece that's now ruined, but on the other hand, without Spiner in it the film would have had exactly zero interesting characters.

[Animalmother]

Cast Away
Never seen all of it in one go before. Pretty good if needlessly over long. The air crash and storm effects hold up surprisingly well for something made in 2000. It's very of its age and so Tom Hanksy you couldn't mistake it for any other film era. It's like if Forrest Hump got smart and stranded on a desert island.

[Animalmother]

Red Heat
Thinly veiled right-wing bullshit: Check
Evil foreigners: Check
Drugs are bad: Check
Excessive use of blood squibs: Check
Bad suits: Check
Wanton destruction: Check
Latent homoeroticism: Check X 10
Arnie punching a window: Check
Bursting into a hotel room where a naked lady is: Check
Police chief yelling: Check
Women in Spandex dancing: Check
Poor haircut choices: Check

[Raid]

I also watched Red Heat this evening. It's really not very good. Jim Belushi isn't funny enough for it to be a good Buddy Cop movie, and Arnie just has absolutely no charisma in this. I know that's intentional, but bloody hell does it make for a surprisingly dry experience in an 80s Arnie film. Yes, all of the 80s tropes are there; sound design that makes every pistol sound like a howitzer, enough gated reverb to make Phil Collins jealous and a rise in the stock price for every stunt glass company in America.

But it's just no fun.

[Animalmother]

It's utter trash. Arnie looks like a clown in that ridiculous blue suit and flat top haircut. James Belushi is just a fucking asshole, actually everyone in this film is a fucking asshole. The only highlight is how insanely hot Gina Gershon is, that's pretty much it.

Raw Deal was also just added and if memory serves that's utter pish as well.

[Wrathbone]

Raw Deal is very boring. Arnie has some weird slick hairdo and a machine gun that looks like it was borrowed from the A-Team.

[Maturin]

Although Red Heat and Raw Deal are two of the lesser Arnie vehicles of the 80s, I still find enough in them to happily pass the time with. If they're on TV and I just fancy something to watch in the evening.

It's still Arnie blowing shit up and/or saying one-liners for the most part.

[Raid]

I don't remember a single one-liner from Arnie in Red Heat. There were hardly any explosions either.

[Maturin]

And/or I said.

Okay, blowing shit up/shooting shit up. You know what I mean...

[Raid]

My point I suppose is that it's reduced to angry shouting and some pretty lifeless shooting. There's none of the usual Arnie silliness, with the possible exception of the mostly naked fistfight at the very start. No quips, no ridiculous feats of strength, no real use of Arnie's trademark accent. You could replace Schwarzenegger with any buff actor and it would be exactly the same film.

[eny]