Apprentice 2022

[Raid]

That was the best episode of The Apprentice I've seen in years. What an absolute car crash.

Spoiler

Not going to lie, I didn't spot the "DIES" thing either, and I laughed my arse off when Karen pointed it out for the first time. I think when you've spent so long with a concept or project, it's difficult to have the same reactions as someone seeing it for the first time. The format of this show means you don't get the chance to step away and come back to it with fresher eyes. They'd spent so long coming up with the name (and I think "First Time Foodies" is actually pretty good) that they just couldn't see it as anything but the word.

I did think it was pretty funny that Aaron went immediately, so inept was his contribution to his own project. I get the feeling the man doesn't ever cook for himself, because nobody that did would have thought that nothing but sweet potato, squash, rice and couscous blended together was going to be edible. It'd be like making a mashed potato sandwich with a portion of chips on the side.

[Rusty]

I wouldn't even know where to start on prepping food Let alone making baby food.
Lord Alan's idea for who he wants as a business partner is weird. "You can't cook! You're Fired"

[Raid]

Interviews!

Spoiler

Is it just me or was every single one of those business ideas terrible? Matching pyjamas for the whole family including the dog! Another dessert restaurant! Selling second-hand designer children's' clothes! Boozy... protein drinks (should that be bougie?)? Perhaps I'm simply not the target market for any of these, but they all feel incredibly niche. And just imagine going through all of this nonsense and not even having real costings in your business plan, immediately discrediting yourself and being fired almost on a technicality. What a waste of time.

It occurs to me that I've watched 9 weeks of this now and I still don't know any of the contestants' names. I also don't have a favourite, nor one I think is most likely to win. Both ideas have massive flaws that you would have thought would have excluded them from the process were there any better ideas available.

[Sly Boots]

I was literally about to say, I've often wondered whether Suralan gets prior info about the business plans when he comes to fire someone, particularly in the last few rounds, as sometimes the decision can seem a little inexplicable.

Last night's episode put paid to that notion!

Spoiler

They are indeed all terrible, the last two standing perhaps the least-worst of the four on offer last night, but if Sugar ever sees a penny back on his investment, wherever it ends up going, I will be amazed.

Just shows that, as entertaining as it's been, this year's crop of candidates was particularly poor.

[Wrathbone]

I wonder if he has a selection of basic business templates ready to deploy, so that regardless of which candidate he picks, if their business plan is plainly an unworkable, doomed mess then he can simply impose an appropriate template on them and tell them that's what they're doing instead.

[Alan]

Do they not have a look over these things before letting them in the process to begin with? Why on earth would the protein booze lass even be given a shot when there must be hundreds of people with an idea out there.

I think they should be chosen on the strength of their business plans to get into the process then have them fight it out instead of just bundling a bunch of tumshies in the back of a clown car and hope it’s entertaining. They don’t let people on Bake Off just because they microwaved a lettuce one time.

[Sly Boots]

Do they not have a look over these things before letting them in the process to begin with? Why on earth would the protein booze lass even be given a shot when there must be hundreds of people with an idea out there.

I think they should be chosen on the strength of their business plans to get into the process then have them fight it out instead of just bundling a bunch of tumshies in the back of a clown car and hope it’s entertaining. They don’t let people on Bake Off just because they microwaved a lettuce one time.

And someone really needed to tell her someone already came up with the idea:

Spoiler

[Snowy]

Watched this the other day and had much the same thought processes. With the exception of Harpreet Hitler who has an undefined role in an existing business, the others are all just aspirations with no real plans waiting to be kicked off. Piss awful, not only from the candidates perspective but also the fawning over Sralan as he wheels out his awful fucking puns. I imagine Karen Brady looking in the mirror having fake-laughed her way through yet another Sralan segment and hating herself.

[Rusty]

It is 100% Big Brother but with some tacked on 'business plans'.

I bet the interview process for access to the Apprentice is more along the lines of how they look and act on camera rather than their business acumen.

[Alan]

Didn’t Sralan Sralan shoot Bobby Kennedy?

[Raid]

The final then.

Spoiler

.....ehhhh.

I think given how uninterested I was in either business idea (or indeed any of the contestants), this was never going to be the most exciting final, but I was surprised at how little attention I was giving it. It just wasn't much fun; the only big problem I had was the sub-team of the three entirely uncharismatic men trying to shoot an advert for a dessert bakery while dressed in business suits and with all the acting acumen of the bag of flour that presumably went into the products. I'm surprised they didn't just pose the cakes on the bonnet of a BMW and call it a day. Did Navid do a single thing that was helpful throughout the entire series? He just seemed to be quite completely useless.

It didn't help that Amy, the only contestant this year that I found genuinely unpleasant, was back to make her mark too. I can just feel my irritation level rising whenever she was just ignoring or overruling someone.

[Snowy]

I watched it a couple of days ago with my wife and sat here now, I can't remember who won.

I think that says all that needs saying...

[Raid]

I remember which business proposal won, I can't remember the contestant.