I Just Watched (Films)

[Drarok]

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

It feels like it was made with genuine love for the source material

That makes a lot of sense, the director (who is also credited as one of the writers) is Jason Reitman, son of Ivan who directed the original.

[Animalmother]

I enjoyed Afterlife when I watched it but pretty much forgot it immediately. I assume there won't be another one for a long time, Finn Wolfhard (what a fucking name..) will have grown so gangly he won't fit in the frame by then.

[Alan]

Xanadu

Gene Kelly’s final film. It’s truly awful. Genes good, seems like he’s having fun making it and he even gets a few dance numbers. He’s more nimble and coordinated at 80 than I am right now. Most of the rest Is unwatchably bad.

[Animalmother]

Had to re-watch Ghostbusters: Afterlife to refresh my memory. Much better than I remember, definitely enjoyed it more on 2nd viewing. The effects are great, they managed to get the same feel and look from the original, so much better than the 2016 shit show. The sound of the proton pack firing is up there with the pulse rifle for the most distinctive movie weapon sounds ever.

Fun watch

[Alan]

Oppenheimer
Pretty much hated it. It also doesn't really have the usual cinematic spectacle to mask Nolans bloody awful writing that make his other movies worth watching. In a film that is mostly people talking, when the talking is interpersonal it is laughably bad. I mean I know Oppenheimer was a bit of a weird guy but it almost feels like it was written by chat GPT. When its people just talking science its fine even though the pace seems way off ("hi, we split the atom." - "OMG friend, let’s build a nuke!"). The entire first act was an ADD mess of non-linear story telling which was 100% not needed and was just a vehicle for there to be a (100% not needed) twist ending. I'm sure the reviews are all glowing but I have not a single clue why.

The absolute best moment is when Florence Pugh stops him mid sex and forces him to read "Now I Am Become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds" before returning to the shagging. Fuck right off Nolan! At least you gave me a good laugh.

[Sly Boots]

Just got back from taking the kids to see TMNT: Mutant Mayhem, and have to say it was a pretty fun time. Humour was pretty good (although I think it uses a lot of cultural references that will age it badly), and the animation style is superb imho.

[Wrathbone]

Deathstalker

I’ve been watching a bunch of low budget 80s fantasy recently and today’s trashterpiece was 1983’s Deathstalker. Imagine a 12 year old writing a mashup of Conan fan-fiction and softcore porn and you’ve got the gist. It’s so egregiously disrespectful of women that I can only conclude it was designed to deliberately enrage feminists. Every woman in the film almost without exception is nude and treated as a prize or commodity. There are three attempted rapes of the same woman in the first five minutes, one by our supposed ‘hero’, who personally rapes multiple women throughout the film (including one who is actually a man). Gratuitous doesn’t come close.

It’s so monumentally dumb that it’s hard to be outraged by it. Beyond all the nudity there’s some entertainment in the form of ultra violence, a pigman and a villain who would look more at home as the frontman of a Judas Priest tribute band. That’s about it.

3/10

[Animalmother]

Yeah Deathstalker is a craptastic piece of filmmaking alright. I loved how the villains facial tattoo changed sides several times, no fucks given on the continuity.

The Mummy 2017
The flop that killed a film franchise before it could get going. Had to watch out of curiosity, it's not very good but it's not terrible either. Nowhere near a patch on the Brendan Fraser movie from which it loosely copies some scenes. The effects go from pretty good to surprisingly shit in places but the reanimated corpses are well done and provide some comic relief. It made something like over $400 million and that wasn't considered good enough to make more. Probably cost that to make. Worth a watch? Not really but I didn't hate it.

[Sly Boots]

Finally got round to watching Boss Level (Prime), which I'd put off for a while due to Mel Gibson being in it

It's actually really good, good action, decent pinch of humour and some surprisingly heartfelt moments. Plus Gibson gets repeatedly shot, so it has that going for it as well.

[Achtung Englander]

Taking advantage of cinema day when prices are £3, I decided to see Barbie with the Mrs. I wanted to see it out of curiosity, why this film surpassed $1B in ticket sales.

It is an awful, awful film.

The worst film I have seen this year and in the decade. There were so many mixed messages about patriarchy and matriarchy, I genuinely got confused as to what the film was trying (very badly) to say. It was all over the place from male bashing, to "go girl" to its perfectly fine to be ordinary. It was all over the fucking shop. Attitudes in the "real world" looked nothing like the real world I know, especially in 2023. The humour did not exist. In a packed cinema I think people laughed 3 times. I found maybe about 4 to 5 scenes that grabbed my attention. The worst part is that towards the end not only did I hate this film, it made me genuinely dislike women when the message is that women can only achieve status through the bashing of men and in the Ken fight scene, literally. A disgusting film. Definitely not one for kids.

0/10. I have never given a 0 mark in my film rating but this film made me so mad, it does not even deserve 1.

[Wrathbone]

<adds Barbie to watchlist>

[Achtung Englander]

enjoy

[Achtung Englander]

Babylon

Stopped it after 50 minutes. Pointless and shite.

Talking of shit. The opening scene of this film is of an elephant at the back of a truck shitting all over a poor worker. This is a perfect metaphor for the movie, with the film shitting over the audience who have carry it.

Dear God, this run of crap films is laughable.

1/10

Bullet Train

5/10. Looks nice, but very shallow and dumb. The Lemon/Tangerine twins characters from the film is pure rip off from 2000AD Sinister Dexter strip. I am surprised Paradox did not sue Sony (but given its Sony I reckon they could not afford the lawsuit). Anyway The Twins were by far the best characters. Again stopped it after an hour in. I never knew Tokyo was populated so much by westerners.

[Animalmother]

The Last Voyage of the Demeter
Really enjoyed this entertaining horror movie. Based on the boat trip Dracula and his boxes of dirt take from Romania to England. The unfortunate crew are stalked by the creature and get offed one by one in often nasty fashion. Bit like Alien on a sailing ship sort of but not really. Apparently it didn't review very well but it's definitely worth a watch.

Same director of Trollhunter and The Autopsy of Jane Doe.

[Sly Boots]

Sounds pretty cool, will keep an eye out for it!