We did that to a guy in work once. When he left his PC unlocked we set it to autocorrect "The" with "Balls" on his emails. Once his boiling rage calmed we all had a good laugh about it.
I'd been talking to my parents about a new shower they've had installed and I was trying to find the model they'd got. I'd heard them say it was a "grower" (which turned out to be Hansgrohe).
Googling "grower shower" did not produce expected results.
101
So, old man time. I have been becoming more and more disillusioned with the way music exists today. It feels disposable. Albums are becoming more like containers for a years songs than an album to the point a lot of bands just seem to piss out random songs which eventually coalesce into an album on the streaming services. I hate this. Ive never been a vinyl guy and I dont hold any love for CDs but its the (wankery incoming) the sanctity of the album. I love the act of listening to a whole album, putting it on and experiencing it from start to finish without there being some tracks on it that you've heard to death already. I'd quite like to do away with streaming and just buy albums digitally which would help a little but getting "social clout" or whatever would still mean preview tracks and what have you so I guess it wouldn't really help unless we also kill all social media - which would also be nice. Devin for example, there's two full songs out before the album, just put the fucking album out! Promote the songs on the launch or thereafter if you like but not before. Its like a spoiler for a film in music form. I'm not going to not listen to it because I have no self control but I can still not like it! Yeah there were singles before but generally the bands I liked either didnt release them or they were so hard to come by that it didn't matter.
102
So I bought a fucking record player. Just a cheapo off facebook then I went to the charity shop on the way home and bought the first record that caught my eye and a wee while later I was sitting on the floor listening to Tony Bennett and it was magic. It sounded like shit compared to other ways I have of listening but it was magic. Yeah I can listen to an album on a streaming service, yeah I know the core of my arguments are mostly bullshit but there's just something about the physicality. Am I going to turn into one of those record plonkers, no, I'll remain the hypocritical plonker I am, but I am going to buy selective things that make sense on vinyl, particularly old jazz, blues and swing records and such. Ordered the Ella and Lewis duets and I reckon that will be proper nice on it. It makes it special.
Embarrassingly I was very confused as to how to put a bloody record on the thing because I've never seen an auto changer spindle before. I dont like it, I wont use it, I will look for a deck without it but it is SO cool! Specifically the clockwork nature of how it works and how it compensates for different record sizes. This chap explained it very nicely to me.
A man who could tell more truth and eat fewer pies.
Drip feeding songs is the only way you can keep the modern audiences who all have the attention span of goldfish thanks to the none stop crap dopamine hits they get from scrolling through absolute inane rubbish on social media.
We've been saving up to record our first EP and have just signed on with a promoter who strongly advised that we don't bother doing a single release and just do one song every month or two before consolidating it as a single release on Spotify when they're all out. It's rubbish but there isn't really another way to cut through the noise for small bands, not that you make any money either way as the record labels have signed deals with the streaming platforms to screw over all but the biggest names. Most people don't listen to albums anymore, you just have to keep bombarding them with songs over time in the hopes that they get added to people's playlists.
I love vinyl for the physical element and getting large print versions of the artwork, but its resurgence over the last few years has turned it into a middle class collectors hobby. The price of new vinyl albums nowadays is absolutely crazy.
